Notes on 'Strength of Stomach'

Although it's a defining characteristic of Calysia's thought patterns, I sometimes wonder if I let her rant a bit too much. Like the stereotypical old man, it's fine for him to curse the modern world with frequent mention of how much better it was in the old days, but if he keeps it up for too long he simply becomes comical. I'm worried this will happen to Calysia. Thankfully, she'll be in the warzone soon so must of her commentary will be on what's actually happening, but I think I may have to go into some of the earliest chapters and hack them up a bit to reduce repetition.

My main aim with this chapter, anyway, was to convey just how self-centred Calysia is. So caught up in her own pride, she's damning Gethan for looking after her, really. I hope that's clear in the text; I did manage to create a line free of her bias with "He brought me water, a damp cloth, a blanket and a fresh bucket." Even though she states all her suspicions as fact ("He was bloody well enjoying this" instead of "I could see he was bloody well enjoying this.") I feel a depiction of an action without any mention of sentiment will draw suitable notice.

Although I'm fairly proud of how I'm managing my dishonest narrator, there is always the worry that her war memories sound contrived. People rolling about and screaming in pain are pretty bog standard for depictions of warzone medical tents but I've found it difficult to move away from that without actually focusing on a particular patient (and thus exploring the intricacies of the doctor/patient relationship or anything like that). As Calysia is not prepared to think of any particular case just yet, this is an impossible fix. It's just something I'm going to have to brood over for a while, I think.