While I'm still moderately pleased with the opening paragraph of this chapter and the idea of an officer being over-chirpy (though Calysia is meant to be more angry that this man is using a phrase she feels he doesn't fully appreciate - the depth of what she has endured is almost a matter of pride, however twisted) I feel it doesn't fit properly with the story and intend on changing it once I've fully established the precise manner of Calysia's previous deployment in my own mind.
See, firstly, the only definite assignment she's had before is the futile defence of a fort. Exactly how much slogging about in the rain would occur when holed up under seige is debatable. Furthermore, if the scene she describes is one from that assignment, her attitude towards the officer doesn't fit. Her reflections on her commander at that time all idolise him and condemn herself, whereas here she sympathises with the troops, not the leader.
Secondly, Wrathwrought is perhaps overly demonised here. That or I need to toughen him up in the chapters that follow - I wrote this chapter in class, before I had properly considered his personality, which may explain things.
Thirdly, I'm not sure I like the chapter order. I haven't yet decided if this might be better introduced after the meeting in chapter V; I don't feel the present order makes it clear that this is the first appearance of the man identified as Wrathwrought in that chapter.
Shall return to this chapter for sure once the details of Calysia's history are sorted.
See, firstly, the only definite assignment she's had before is the futile defence of a fort. Exactly how much slogging about in the rain would occur when holed up under seige is debatable. Furthermore, if the scene she describes is one from that assignment, her attitude towards the officer doesn't fit. Her reflections on her commander at that time all idolise him and condemn herself, whereas here she sympathises with the troops, not the leader.
Secondly, Wrathwrought is perhaps overly demonised here. That or I need to toughen him up in the chapters that follow - I wrote this chapter in class, before I had properly considered his personality, which may explain things.
Thirdly, I'm not sure I like the chapter order. I haven't yet decided if this might be better introduced after the meeting in chapter V; I don't feel the present order makes it clear that this is the first appearance of the man identified as Wrathwrought in that chapter.
Shall return to this chapter for sure once the details of Calysia's history are sorted.
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