Notes on 'The Harbour'

As Escalus commented on the Warcraft version of this, Wrathwrought is seeing character development! Of the sort Calysia cannot quite hide with incorrect said bookisms and biased narrative! I've reread this a few times and am sure that I've correctly managed to portray him in a fairly good light here for all Calysia's griping; having her too shocked to really control how his lines are interpreted helped quite a bit there.

After writing that note on 'Step Lively!' I couldn't help but stick "Pretty" in once or twice, too, so I feel the gap between this Wrathwrought and his previous depiction has been narrowed somewhat. Hurrah.

Again referencing Escalus' comment, this chapter does give way more than most, including the inciting incident in 'Democracy'. I am slightly concerned that I'm losing the style a little, but feel that this can be remedied in the less-meaty chapters to follow.

CALYSIA LIES. She knows full well what her sense of duty is tied too, at least subconsciously. Lying narrator ftw.

Calysia's longer chunk of dialogue is perhaps a bit too long - considering cutting it back a bit or punctuating it with a comment from Wrathwrought. I've toyed with the idea that Calysia might embellish on anything important she says to make it seem grander/more insightful, but I don't feel this fic could work if she was allowed to alter dialogue. It's the only unbiased element, after all.

Fairly happy with this chapter as a whole, but yeah. Still needs a bit of polish. Shall probably put it to the folk in my editing class and see how that goes.